Living relationships based on mutual respect and equal worth.

“We meet here at eye level.”

A sentence that’s often said. It can quickly sound a bit flat—like a standard phrase you’d read on a website.But what does it really mean?

What does it truly mean to meet children with equal dignity—to really hear and really see them?

The first days at my school were a real eye-opener for me.

I remember one particular moment very clearly.

I had just arrived at the school and was suddenly surrounded by a feeling I had never truly experienced before in any school or kindergarten.

Adults who didn’t speak down to the children, but approached them with respect and genuine interest.

At the same time, I felt a kind of sadness—and even anger—within me.I was surprised by these emotions. But then I began to understand.

What I was now experiencing at this school... it was exactly what I had needed as a child during my own elementary school years:Adults who take me seriously. Who truly listen.Listening without immediately offering advice. Just someone who would have simply listened to me.

Lived relationship.So this is what it can be like.

Equal Dignity – According to Jesper Juul

The Danish family therapist Jesper Juul coined the term "equal dignity" (Gleichwürdigkeit in German).

Equal dignity means: All people—regardless of age, experience, or role—have the same worth.Their needs, feelings, and opinions deserve the same respect.It’s not about having equal skills or equal decision-making power—It’s about dignity, respect, and mutual regard.

“Equal dignity is not equality.It means that the child’s voice is just as important as the adult’s—even though the adult carries more responsibility.”

In practice, this can look like:

Children have a real say in things.They don’t just “get to talk”—they are actually heard.Their ideas flow into school life. They help shape their environment.They experience agency and self-efficacy.

And that’s exactly what I find so powerful:

When we take children seriously,when we truly care about what moves them—something happens.

Energy is created.Motivation, creativity arise.They grow beyond themselves.They walk away from experiences feeling “a head taller.”

An example from daily school life

One moment I remember especially vividly was when a child had the idea to bring pigs to the school.

She was convinced that our school needed another school animal.And honestly—I thought the idea was wonderful.What could be better than giving animals from poor conditions a better home?

She brought forward some great arguments about why pigs would be good for our school.They could eat leftover food, and the children would have a real responsibility—just like we used to have with the rabbits.

But she didn’t stop at the idea.She started asking other children:

“Would you help take care of them? Would you join in?”

She rallied her classmates, built support, formed a team—and finally, together, they brought the idea to us adults.

We listened.We took them seriously.And still, in the end, we had to say:

No. As a school, we couldn’t take on the responsibility.Especially when it comes to animals, the ultimate responsibility lies with us adults—and in this case, we just couldn’t take it on.

And what followed... was one of those real moments.

This was equal dignity in action.

We sat down with her.We helped her explore what she was feeling.There was anger. There was frustration.

Her idea had value.Her initiative was impressive.

We saw her—in her vision and in her disappointment.

That, to me, is what real eye-level interaction looks like.That is equal dignity.