Being true to yourself

Being Allowed to Be Real – Thoughts from Everyday School Life

Sometimes there are these moments at school when it suddenly becomes crystal clear to me:Yes — we can do things differently.We have the opportunity to make school more human.

I don’t have a direct comparison to traditional schools because I’ve taught at a free school from the very beginning.But when I think back to my own school years or the internships I did during university, I often remember how much “mask-wearing” happened in the classroom.Teachers hiding behind rules and authoritarian systems.

And I often wondered:

Who is that person up front — really?Is this authentic? Or just a role they’re playing?

At the free school where I work, a lot of things are different.We’re often mocked for it:

“You don’t really do anything.”“Kids don’t learn anything there.”“You’re just outside all the time.”“Such a hippie-eco bubble.”

I hear comments like that all the time.

But then I remind myself:This, too, is reality — our reality.And someone has to start living a new idea of what school can be.One where relationships matter more than grades.One where children get to experience what it means to learn with real human beings.Not just learning content — but also learning humanity. Mistakes. Growth. Doubt.

I’m not perfect.My teaching isn’t always innovative or amazing.There are days I sit there thinking:

I honestly don’t know what I’m doing right now.

And that’s exactly what I want to share.

There was one moment that changed everything for me.

It was during an English lesson.I had prepared it in detail — we were going to practice doctor-patient dialogues.I was convinced it would go great.

But within a few minutes, it was clear:It wasn’t working.The kids were confused, the flow made no sense.Everything that had seemed so logical in my head just didn’t work in reality.

And I stood there thinking:

Shit. What now?

Then I did something I never thought I’d have the courage to do:

I stopped the lesson.

I looked at the class and said:

“Okay — this isn’t working. That’s on me. I need your help.How would you have needed this?”

And so there we sat — a sixth-grade class and me —on the carpet,co-planning the next lesson together.

They told me what would have made more sense to them, what they needed.And I listened.We created something together, we tested it, we reflected on it.

That moment was a huge Aha! for me.

I’m allowed to make mistakes.I’m allowed to say, “I don’t know either.”I’m allowed to just be human.

That moment opened a door for me —a door to a new understanding of school.A school where I don’t just teach — I accompany.Where I don’t need to wear a mask.Where relationship and authenticity aren’t weaknesses —but the very foundation of real education, connection, and guidance.

And that moment —as unspectacular as it might seem from the outside —will stay with me forever.